Is it safe to come out??? I've been hiding over here.. behind my pillar of shame...
I havn't really been couting or tracking or.. anything.. since my last post. Though I was amazed, and thankfull, a few days ago when I steped on the scale and found my body had been kind to me.. and stayed a low weight. But then I've been bad these past two week.. food wise... time to get back on the band wagon. I'm not beating myself up though..I know this is how it goes for me. If I had a "no derailments allowed".. I'd never make it to where I want to be.
So.. I've put up a goal board.. it has some pictures of sexy bodies. I honestly thought those images would help me out more.. but so far.. it's kinda dissapointing. Oh well. I've started playing roller derby.. or more to the fact.. learing how to be a ref for roller derby. Actually derby sounds far too dangerous... all I read about are torn ligaments with cadaver grafts, or metal pins having to be inserted into bones... um... NO THANKS!! I'll get a T-Shrt that says WUSS!!! and proudly wear it.. and stick to being a ref. Besides.. the refs apparently have to learn to skate better than the players.. so there's some pride in that. And apparently the refs skate as much, or more, than the players.. it's non stop motion. HF. said he lost 40lbs in the first 18 months he was reffing. I 'm so psyched! And from what I've done so far.. skating.. learning to skate, is more fun that exercise... so.. sk8on!! In my area, I seem to have 4 nights of opportunity. The other bonus is, refs are always in demand and float about the leagues.. and it's free.. which I'm very happy about in my current situation.. I don't have $50 a month for it right now otherwise. It also counts as volunteer work.. sweet!So.. free skating lessons, free gym/social club, what's not to love!? There's a lot to love, that for sure. I'll admit it. I was totally drawn in by the outfits and the attitudes. I saw it.. I wanted to be it. Simple as that. Though I definitely need to take better care of my body... I need to really start doing yoga, and stretches. I need to be taking health supplements for ligaments and between the bones joiner materials. And I need to do a better job of cutting out gluten. I tried making a gluten free bread tonight. I didn't have olive oil, so the net told me i could sub equal amounts of apple sause, same with coco flour for xanthum gum. The batter was a liquid in the pan, when it's suppose to be like muffin batter. I added more flour, and I should have added another egg. It crumbled right apart... there's no chance of slicing it. damn. didn't stop me from frying crumnbs in not soy butter and making myself a grills soy-cheese sandwhich! Tasted not too bad.
Tommorow, I need to hit up a grocery store. And re invigorate myself with healthy recipies, and buy a steamer. Food has been pretty gross lately.. time to change. BTW.. my derby number is eitehr 126 , 128, or 12X, as a weight goal!
